Stress related to social conflict can manifest itself in our lives in both protective and counterproductive ways. We know that the “fight or flight” instinct is triggered by an epinephrine response and is a primal physiologic reaction to stress. We also know about the after-effects of physical violence, such as child abuse or sexual and physical assaults. An Oregon Health & Science University study among women in their internal medicine practices concluded that numerous physiological and mental illnesses occur with these traumas, mostly depression and chronic physical symptoms such as pain.

It is also not hard to imagine the effects of various types of negative social interaction that occur in social relationships (e.g., arguments, sarcasm, hostility, criticism, unwanted demands) that sometimes leads to violence. After all, social conflict is a milder form of aggression than physical assault, but produces its own aftermath. A Macarthur Foundation review found that social conflict was related to high blood pressure, neuroendocrine activity and greater emotional distress.

Children also exhibit symptoms when exposed to their parents’ conflict, much as adults do. When studied, preschoolers exhibit increases in heart rate and blood pressure, headaches and stomachaches, shorter stature, and increased risk of mortality when exposed to conflict or physical violence in childhood.

Ohio State University Medical Center is on the cutting edge of research aimed to understand the effects of social conflict and health. Their work with married couples to determine the effect of marital strife on healing time and other physiologic or emotional effects measured neuroendocrine response to conflicted discussions. Couples whose arguments were low stress (and who had lower levels of stress hormones in their blood streams) healed more quickly and completely than those whose arguments yielded high-stress discussions. Normal everyday healing is subject to the effects of stress that we would see in marital conflict.

In another study of happily married newlyweds, couples were followed for 10 years to measure personality differences, problem-solving behaviors in social conflict, and hormone levels, as well as whether they divorced. The best predictor of a lasting relationship in this study was a low level of stress hormones among the women during and after a conflict situation. The hormones epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine, ACTH and cortisol were higher among some women than men at time of conflict, and remained high even afterwards. The researchers found couples who exhibited negative and hostile behaviors showed large differences in endocrine and immune function compared to less conflictual couples, but women more so than men. The researchers suggested that the body carries stress in a way that the conscious mind is unaware.

Stress from social conflict can take its toll on the immune system, but also create other health problems as well, such as premature aging and a number of chronic diseases. The same encodrine and immunological relationships to negative behavior during marital conflict showed up in even among older married couples, stronger for women than for men.

The couples in these marital studies reported being “quite happy”, indicating some level of adaptation to the conflict that would keep them in the marriage, at least for a time. The bottom line is that chronically abrasive marital relationships, along with other types of relationships, could have serious or even fatal effects. Not only does the discord significantly impact the health of the people in conflict, but also those peripheral to it, including children, coworkers, and other social relationships.

One way to improve your physical and emotional health would be to reduce the amount of conflict in your significant relationships. Mediation is an impartial conflict resolution strategy that could facilitate the settling of agreements, where you could also learn skills that change how you interact in intimate relationships. Individual coaching or psychotherapy may also be useful to work out long-term dissatisfaction causing the marital or other relationship strife.

For instance, the effects of marital and divorce conflict are astounding. A U.S. Business Review in 2001 estimated that the average American divorce cost between $15,000-$30,000 in legal fees, depending on the level of conflict. This is a large-scale investment for a family wanting to fund a virtual reorganization of their lives with two households. Divorce expenses are also shared by state and federal governments, costing approximately $30,000 per divorce for items such as public housing, bankruptcies and juvenile delinquency.

Alongside the financial burden of divorce litigation, high post-marital hostility decreases the ability of parents to cooperate regarding the needs of the children. A Harvard case study of families experiencing recent divorce showed 25% of the families had substantial or intense legal conflict. The most prevalent pattern of parenting was “parallel” parenting in which the only attempts to communicate were around visitation arrangements, eliminating opportunities for mutual or cooperative parenting. Two other studies concurred that one-third of families remain very hostile 3-5 years after separation.

Notable among these studies and several others was that parents’ own psychosocial adjustment, related to their conflict after divorce (verbal and physical aggression, overt hostility, distrust), was the best predictor of child maladjustment or emotional dysfunction. Childhood adjustment is a predictor of later social, emotional and academic development. Along the same lines, adults who perpetuate their nasty conflict through litigation find that their troubles are not abated by the physical separation after divorce. Adults who divorce are four times more likely to need psychiatric care, be depressed or have trouble at work.

Marital conflict that has the benefit of using alternative conflict resolution has the likelihood of creating agreements and mediating dysfunctional patterns more so than litigation. It also produces a reduced financial burden for families attempting to move on. U.S. Business Review reported an average divorce mediation to be $750-$2500 per divorce, compared to the $30,000 above. Mediation may also alleviate special difficulties in co-parenting children due to a greater likelihood of negotiating parenting plans that are mutually agreed upon.

Similar to marital discord, conflict in the workplace is routine. Conflict can be beneficial for proactive reorganization or product innovation, as well as long-term employee productivity. Poorly managed conflict is a drain of human and financial resources. Several studies demonstrate that managers spend 25-40% of their time responding to employee conflict. As well, workplace conflict results in employee attrition or lost productivity, absenteeism and increased health care costs.

According to the U.S. Department of Bureau & Labor Statistics, for 2005-06, voluntary employee turnover was the highest among the Accommodation & Food Service industry at 56.4%; Leisure & Hospitality sector, 52.2%; Retail services at 35.7%; and Construction industry, 28.7%. There was a slight decrease in employee turnover in Real Estate, 19.6%. The Western region experienced 23.5% attrition, higher than the U.S. average and all regions but the south. These data validate the current trend for local sectors of employment. National studies would indicate that intervention in dealing with conflict would be beneficial to reduce employee turnover.

Grievances and complaints, and associated legal fees, have also increased for U.S. companies. In 2005 a Fulbright & Jaworski survey concluded that 9 out of 10 American companies are involved in some type of litigation. This affects not only the bottom line but employee morale and company reputation.

Most importantly, for managing personal or workplace conflict, individuals need to learn good interpersonal skills and routinely air grievances with their partner or peers. Family unit and workplace organizations should be structured so that “systems” problems do not cause inappropriate power distribution leading to systematic conflict. For instance, domestic child-rearing arrangements or poor management of workgroup structures can cause animosity and resentment. A periodic family discussion or workplace audit can facilitate group or family formation.

Lastly, when conflict has not been managed, Alternative Dispute Resolution can profoundly influence the emerging or entrenched conflict, creating opportunities for the various perspectives to be identified and creative solutions constructed. A family or organizational commitment to work through conflict effectively may just spare your family and your children haunting aftereffects of marital discord or divorce, or save your organization hefty costs associated with dispute.